Michael Jackson: Proof of a failed health care system?

While cardiologist Conrad Murray goes missing in action, authorities say the doctor, is not a criminal suspect.

“Craig Harvey, a spokesman for the Los Angeles County coroner, said there were no signs of foul play in the autopsy and further tests would be needed to determine cause of death. He said Jackson was taking some unspecified prescription medication but gave few other details.”

“We do not consider him to be uncooperative at this time,” Beck said. “We think that he will assist us in coming to the truth of the facts in this case.”-Huffington Post

Still you have to wonder, with Michael Jackson taking the precaution of having a live-in doctor, why is it that Brian Oxman thought this was bound to happen?

“I said one day we’re going to have this experience. And when Anna Nicole Smith passed away, I said we cannot have this kind of thing with Michael Jackson,” Brian Oxman, a former Jackson attorney and family friend, told NBC’s “Today” show. “The result was I warned everyone, and lo and behold, here we are. I don’t know what caused his death. But I feared this day, and here we are.”

Oxman claimed Jackson had prescription drugs at his disposal to help with pain suffered when he broke his leg after he fell off a stage and for broken vertebrae in his back.”-Huffington Post

Rumor has it that Michael Jackson was using the pain killer Demerol.

“The government warns that mixing it with certain other drugs can lead to reactions including slowed or stopped breathing, shock and cardiac arrest.”-Huffington Post

I know all to well how easy it is to trust that a doctor is looking out for you. When you have someone writing you prescriptions, you trust that they know what’s best. Someone like Michael Jackson probably never even thought about reading the warning labels on his medications. Why would he when he had his own live in doctor? I have to wonder if this doctor even considered his mental health, another problem with the health care industry. You would never have a psychologist sit down with the family doctor and discuss whether it’s safe to prescribe pain killers, and yet that’s the kind of health care I wish we had. Of course most people know MJ’s mental health is at least in question.  I think his doctor should have  thought twice about giving him pain killers but because this is a business, I’m sure most doctors in this position would do what they thought they needed to do to keep their job.  Enzymes could have been a great alternative to pain killers, which would have helped with pain, healing and inflammation.   It’s also nearly impossible to take too many. Not only that, his cardiovascular health would have improved! With such a simple solution, why was Michael’s health put in jeopardy?

For myself, I’ll still never forget being prescribed Sulfasalazine. I got the ok from both my gynecologist and rheumatologist that Sulfasalazine would not interfere with birth control pills, later to find that they do interfere with each other. So what does this mean? Do we have a failed health care system?

In my opinion, we absolutely do. Too many times have doctors failed me, and other people. How can a health care system work if it relies on profit? Healthy people are not profitable, and that’s just plain and simple. Cures are not profitable when there are many more medications that can manage a disease. I’m not saying that scientists aren’t searching for cures, but at the same time, I can’t trust a health care system that isn’t meant for everyone.

So yes, in my opinion I think that Michael Jackson’s doctor did fail him. Prescriptions shouldn’t be taken lightly and they shouldn’t be handed out like candy. You shouldn’t have to research your medications because you’re afraid your prescriptions aren’t compatible. You SHOULD be able to simply trust your doctor that he really knows what’s best for you. I hope that one day I’ll feel that way about doctors, that I can trust them fully and completely. And I hope one day I can trust my health insurance company (when I have one again) that they’re not going to drop my coverage if I forget to write that I was treated for acne as a child…..(and that was taken from a true story about a woman who got cancer but the insurance dropped her coverage because she failed to report her childhood acne prescriptions.) Life is short and without the best medical care, it can become even shorter.

Michael Jackson, your music was powerful and your talent, unforgettable. Rest in peace.

And for those of you that loved his music, here’s my favorite song, “It’s the Falling in Love”. I tried to find a better video that really represented this song…but this was the best I could find:

When your disease gets you down

Pain and Depression can go hand in hand

When it comes to chronic disease, we all have setbacks. Since last Wednesday I’ve been experiencing a flare. It’s honestly the first that I’ve had in a very long time that was quite this bad. It could be due to stress or medications or both. Compared to how I used to feel before alternative medications, this flare is a breeze. I can still lift my shoulders, tie my shoes and walk without wincing. Flares can vary so you never know what you’re going to get. For me, having Rheumatoid Arthritis can sometimes feel less of a joint disease and more of a systemic disease. For those of you that don’t know, RA can affect the organs just as much as the joints and it can mimic other diseases like Lupus.  I can see what’s happening to my joints….my fingers get more swollen than usual, but when it comes to my organs I can only guess what’s happening.

These last few days I’ve been getting up in the morning and feeling like I’ve smoked a pack of cigarettes. I don’t even know what that would feel like but I’m guessing this feeling is similar. There’s a sense of congestion and heaviness, accompanied with some discomfort to breathing especially if I bend over and especially when I first get up. Just like my joints, this feeling lessens as the day goes on. There are times that it feels like my heart is beating harder or having trouble….could it be Pericarditis? I simply don’t know. And there are moments when my sides have dull aches as if someing inside me is a bit more swollen than normal. Times like these I can only guess what’s going on. Without insurance, there is no way of knowing without going to the doctor and paying an arm and a leg.  Seeing that I can barely afford my supplements on my own, I simply can’t afford a doctor’s visit. Besides, I know the answer to the problem…..reduce the inflammation in my body and everything will be solved, including my sour mood.

If only it were that easy. I could take some Prednisone which sits in my cupboard. But after a year of trying to get off that stuff, no thanks. I’d rather not feel even more moody than I already feel which is what Prednisone would do to me.  Flares are bound to happen from time to time. I have been lucky to avoid having a flare for the past six months or so. I’m also lucky that this one isn’t all that bad. When I did have a doctor I had the same complaints: chest pain and congestion, rib pain, organ pain, and just about everything and everywhere hurt. Knowing that I have the least amount of pains now that I don’t have a doctor, it makes it all the more simpler to not worry and just keep going on with my life. A flare will eventually subside.

Extreme tiredness is another problem that accompanies most chronic diseases. It doesn’t seem to matter how many hours of sleep I get, I’m still tired. I can say however, the more I sleep, generally the less pain I wake up with. Depression is the other thing that pulls me down. People close to me try to perk me up and they say, “Don’t let yourself get depressed.” It’s hard to have that kind of self control. You go to lift something and you realize you don’t have the strength. You plan a day of activities to realize you don’t have the energy. You have aches and pains and have no way of relieving them. People want to spend time with you but you don’t want to spend time with them…..you are at a loss for words and feel like you might fall asleep in their presence. You find yourself stuttering. You spend more than your share of time in the bathroom to accomplish nothing. (Inflammation of the intestines can make you very constipated). People cook you food and you barely eat. I think faking the way I really feel takes its toll and adds to the depression. People ask on the phone, “How are you doing?” You answer, “Fine and how are you?” But the real answer would depress other people. “I feel extremely tired and sad that my weekend was taken away from me.” People don’t want to hear that so you hold it in and take one for the team, the chronically ill team that is.

What’s it like to have a chronic disease? Well, honestly it really takes it’s toll on your body and spirit,  especially when you’re going through a flare. The pain, the medications, the tiredness….none of it is easy. I can say that since I’ve been treating myself with alternative medications I feel WAY better than before, when I was on chemotherapy drugs and steroids. But even this path isn’t easy for reasons like expense, feeling alone on this particular path, and the amount of pills I have to take can be annoying and tiring.

At first I thought twice about writing an entry like this. After all, it can make people feel uncomfortable. But then I thought, why can’t I just be honest? Why spare other people and hold in these emotions?  Is this too much information? Perhaps it is but I don’t care. At least you know when you come to my blog you’ll get the truth and the real me.  Thanks to all out there, who visit.  You are my support and I appreciate you.

The Alternative Route Can Be Lonely: A venting story

"Landscape at Twilight" by Van Gogh

Even though my RA is pretty under control, I still have setbacks emotionally and physically from time to time. If I overuse my body or don’t sleep enough, I might wake up with sore ankles, stiff and swollen fingers and aching wrists. This is a breeze compared to the indescribable pain and debilitation I used to experience. The other day I became upset when my favorite RA blogger didn’t put me on their blogroll. (I have since been put on the blogroll but my point is, is that it made me realize I was feeling insecure.) It really occurred to me how alone I am on this particular path. I may visit my support group frequently to read posts, but my contribution over time has become less and less.

Over a year ago I had met two other women on Daily Strength who started taking LDN at the same time I did. We were a bit fearful and excited that the new drug we were on would change our lives. We were right. Soon enough , one of the women dropped out of the group. Her symptoms of RA had mostly disappeared and so she no longer needed the support group. She was active with horses and life. I love support, friendship and sharing, especially online. So even if I were to go into complete remission, I don’t have any intention on leaving Daily Strength. It helps to remind me how lucky I am that I feel as good as I do. The other women stayed in contact with me for some time until she went into complete remission. She no longer needed LDN or Antibiotic therapy anymore. Although she had the occasional swelling of a finger she felt she needed a break from the support group, i.e., a break from the reminder that RA had ever existed for her. Maybe I will feel that way if remission hits me completely, where I no longer need a supplement or a drug. Here’s to hoping. But until then, I definitely need people to lean on.

A couple of recent events have made me feel even more alone. I am lucky to have people visit me on this site and share their appreciation and for that I am very grateful. I met an older man at a BBQ and his daughter, thinking we’d have a good time talking, let me know that he had RA too and that I should tell him about my blog. I knew instantly that this might not go as well as hoped because taking alternative therapies is hard to talk about to someone who isn’t. I know first hand what that feels like because I’ve been on the other side. Although some people have been helpful with suggestions, most people have lead me to dead end streets. Avoiding the nightshade family is a good example of a suggestion I tried that didn’t work.

And here in front of me was an older, N.Y. crass, kind of dude. I knew we were going to butt heads. So I tried my best to find our common ground. We talked about methotrexate and what dosage he was on, etc. When he found out I was taking other things and not even seeing a rheumatologist he started hounding me on how I needed to see a doctor….. Sure I’d love to see a doctor I told him, but I don’t have insurance. He continued to hound me anyway. I explained again, “I don’t have insurance and besides I feel so much better now.” He certainly was not interested in what I take at all. He was talking down to me like I was a kid.

He even said the dreaded, “You’re too young to have RA.”

Obviously he was in the dark with his own disease, a crime in my opinion. I tried to switch the subject asking, how bad his RA was when he was at his worst. He had never experienced RA in any other joints besides his hands…lucky man. It didn’t even occur to him that RA can affect other parts of the body. I tried to explain to him that the dosage of methotrexate that he was on, 7.5 was honestly a real breeze and if that’s ALL that I had to take to keep my RA under control, I never would have gone looking for alternative medications. We also talked about the onset of RA. His happened slowly over time. Mine happened almost overnight.

He told me, “Well it doesn’t sound like you have RA. You have something else.”

Oh boy…now for some really frustrating conversation! I had to let him know he was wrong and this kind of overnight arrival of an autoimmune disease like RA was really quite common. He wasn’t part of any support groups nor did he know anyone else with RA. Luckily the chat ended civilly but I was ready for it to be over the moment it began.

This wasn’t the first time that conversations along these lines have happened. On the other side of the spectrum, on my support group a person who joined was claiming Monavie healed everything. I told her I tried it for a month and it did nothing and that maybe I was willing to try it again some other time in the future but it was too expensive, and that I had found other products like Acai Berry V-8 at the grocery store that I figured may work just as well. I’m extremely rational when it comes to taking supplements or medications. I research, reasearch and then research some more! I have never found anything substantial on the positive effects of Monavie. We went back and forth, her frustrated that I wasn’t defending Monavie and telling me medicines are terrible for everyone. I don’t agree with this and I never will and it doesn’t matter that I’m taking alternative treatments. Every human body is different and I can’t say for sure what is best for someone else. I eventually told her what I took. She continued to sound like a sales person and she probably is, stating what I was taking couldn’t possibly help me. I eventually just stopped posting hoping she’d go away.

So what group do I belong to? I don’t really feel like there’s very many people to chat with about my trials and errors.  I have Hashimotos too, and I’ve had that for years. That’s hardly expensive compared to my RA. I try to remind myself that if I was on a biologic, I would be spending enormous amounts of money.   It still feels lonely though not to have my own personal support group where we talk about RA, Serracor-NK, LDN and other supplements we are giving a shot.

So thank you all for reading out there… you are my support and I’m incredibly glad to have you.

Sick Days, No thanks!!

Vomiting is one of the many side effects of Methotrexate

Being part of a support group, I check daily posts written by fellow RA sufferers. In a recent post called “MTX questions” a person asked what others do in regards to taking their MTX, (Methotrexate). Do they take it Friday and feel sick on Saturday or do they take it Sunday and feel horrible for Monday? This is a common question and it gets addressed often. For those of you that don’t know, Methotrexate is a chemotherapy drug, also known as a DMARD and it works by suppressing the immune system. For those of us with an autoimmune disease, the common thought is that an autoimmune disease means an overactive immune system. I have found information that states autoimmune diseases are simply the body confusing healthy tissue for non-healthy tissue, meaning it’s not a system that’s overactive as so much it is an immune system that isn’t working correctly. Suppressing the immune system does not make it work correctly. Instead, it keeps the body from destroying itself, kind of. Methotrexate may cause damage to the liver, intestines and sometimes the lungs, just to name a few. Although it doesn’t seem like methotrexate is a good option, doctors don’t present many other options when you get diagnosed with RA. And you can’t go on living with uncontrollable inflammation. Inflammation in itself, if left uncontrolled can cause cancer, intestinal damage, organ damage, other diseases and with RA will most likely cause joint erosion and deformation. So although taking a toxic drug like methotrexate seems out of the question, not taking it is just as scary.

It’s no wonder I kept searching for alternative options. I was tired of dreading my weekends. On Monday and Tuesday I still felt like I was a little bit “sick” from the methotrexate. If you haven’t taken this drug and it hits you hard like it did with me, this is what I experienced: The next morning after taking methotrexate I would feel more swollen, more painful and more stiff. My kidney area always felt like it had been kicked in the night and this would last until later in the evening. I would feel extremely fatigued and as if I had slept on rocks. Imagine you haven’t slept in 2 days. That’s how fatigued I felt. Or imagine what the flue feels like. That’s exactly how it was, resting both Saturday and Sunday so I could prepare for the following work week. Even running a low grade temperature wasn’t out of the question, of course this could have just been my RA at work. My hair would always fall out in mass amounts on Saturday and it would lessen as time went by. My eyes would be somewhat bloodshot and I would generally feel less hungry than normal for a few days. I wouldn’t exercise over the weekends. Instead, I would try and “recover” until the week started again and try to summon up energy to get myself to the gym after a few days of shaking off the methotrexate side effects. Heck, I was one of the lucky ones that didn’t throw up after taking methotrexate, a common side effect. As time went on having Rheumatoid Arthritis, I found myself becoming weaker and weaker. Workouts were less effective. My resistance level became less and less on the eliptical machine. I no longer did weights because the swelling of my wrists and fingers made it impossible. I continued to at least work hard at strengthening my knee joints. I figured that was the most important-being able to walk, so I made it my top priority.

When I finally freed myself of the methotrexate hangover, I felt like I was on the right path. And speaking of hangover, being on methotrexate meant you couldn’t drink a drop of alcohol because the drug itself does a # all on it’s own to your liver. Being off the drug meant I could drink again. Though I know alcohol is a poison, I tested my theory out on my own liver….just how bad can it be compared to methotexate? I was getting monthly blood tests because doctors have to keep track of how your liver is functioning and I would closely monitor my tests. At one point in time, just 10mg of methotrexate (a very small dose) elevated my liver enzymes. Yet when I went off this drug, one weekend I purged on alcohol. I came in for my test and didn’t tell them I was off of methotrexate. When the results came in, my liver was functioning better than it ever had while I was on methotrexate. Go figure!!

So truly, the reality is methotrexate is hard on your body. For those of you that take it, I feel for you. If your side effects are bad, giving up your weekends to a drug is a horrible thing to experience. I wish you all the best of luck in your journey with an autoimmune disease, or if you know someone who has an autoimmune disease please be compassionate as I’m sure they could use the support.